A Flame in the Night
by IrishSunrise
Summary: Princess Elsa has lived a solitary childhood with powers she struggles to control. But when the king and queen rescue a redheaded girl from the street one night, Elsa's world opens up in ways she never imagined. Set in Arendelle. Elsanna romance.
1. Chapter 1

Elsa had gotten very good at sneaking around the castle after dark.

She looked forward to her little nighttime routine, enjoying the freedom of roaming around the dim, echoing hallways, the silvery moonlight illuminating the ornate rugs beneath her stocking feet as she padded along. She wasn't afraid of the castle at night. She had read in one of her storybooks of a thief who broke stealthily into houses after dark, walking near the walls to prevent the floorboards from creaking. Of course, the castle floors were made of stone, but Elsa liked to hug the walls anyway as she ghosted along, pretending that she was about to be discovered and captured. _I'm more dangerous than a thief, anyway._

She knew that Gerda, her favorite maid, was aware of her nighttime wanderings, because there was always a snack left out for Elsa on the rugged table in the kitchens – some crusty bread and a few slices of sharp orange cheese, or, if she was lucky, a blackberry tart left over from dinner. On rare occasions, in the springtime, Gerda would leave the fourteen-year-old princess a crown of flowers next to the snack, a fragrant circle lovingly woven from tiny white or purple blossoms from the castle grounds. Elsa saved all of Gerda's little gifts, pressing them firmly between the pages of her thickest books until they dried into fragile, pale versions of their former selves.

On this particular night, Elsa was lying in her large, four-poster bed, quietly reading aloud to her favorite doll from a dusty old book that she'd nabbed from the castle library on the previous night's stroll. Her black satin gloves lay discarded on the floor beside her bed; they'd only gotten in the way as she was turning the pages, and eventually she'd stripped them off with an exasperated huff. She didn't understand why her parents made her wear them when she was alone in her room anyway. She didn't think she could hurt herself. Not with her ice powers, anyway.

She only looked up when she heard the grandfather clock in the portrait room begin to chime.

"Ten…eleven…twelve," Elsa counted the peals of the clock under her breath, slowly swinging her legs out from under her heavy quilt. "The witching hour," she whispered solemnly to her doll, Lissy, a porcelain beauty with red hair and a stiff green dress. _You're getting too old to talk to dolls. _Taking Lissy-doll in one arm, she tiptoed over to her latticed bedroom window and kneeled on the padded window seat, fingers gripping the sill.

Her eyes were drawn to a movement below. She squinted down at the dark, verdant grounds from her second-story perch at the shadowy patch that was moving toward the castle. "Gerda?" she muttered to herself, recognizing the woman's upright posture and careful gait. _What is she doing out there?_

Dropping Lissy-doll unceremoniously on the bench, Elsa scampered over to her bedside table and blew out the candle before hurrying back to the window.

Yes, that was definitely Gerda out front, hurrying along the path with…a little girl? Elsa squinted harder, hands and forehead pressed against the cool glass. The girl looked about Elsa's age, and she had hair that was so red Elsa could see it – albeit dimly – through the dark. _She has Lissy hair! Why can't mine look like that?_

Suddenly the king and queen appeared below, apparently having been waiting for Gerda just inside the front door. They hustled outside, glancing furtively about, and urged Gerda and the girl around the side of the castle. Elsa watched them go, craning her neck, until they slipped out of sight.

"Shoot," she whispered, and slid off the bench. "Stay there, Lissy!" She hurried to her bedroom door, cracked it open carefully and listened before slipping out into the dark, silent hallway. _Be careful careful careful careful—_

* * *

"Get her in here next to the fire."

Elsa heard her mother's soft voice directing Gerda and the mysterious redheaded girl around the basement kitchen. She'd run down several passages, finally reaching the stairs to the lower quarters, where the kitchens and other staff rooms were located. Taking the stairs two at a time, she'd halted at the bottom and tiptoed down the windowless hallway. She was standing with her back against the wall, holding her breath outside the swinging kitchen door.

There was some rustling, a few footsteps, and the sound of a stool being dragged across the flagstones.

"Oof." Elsa heard the girl's small voice as she was plunked down on the stool.

"How are you feeling, honey?" Gerda said quietly.

_She's sure fussing over her a lot. _

"Okay," the girl said timidly. Her voice was high and sweet. Elsa wondered hopefully if she was a new kitchen maid – her parents very rarely hired new staff members, and Elsa's only real friend in the castle was Gerda. _Maybe I'll get to talk to her. But where are her parents?_

"Do you want something to eat? Here, I've got a snack right here." Elsa heard Gerda's footsteps approach the kitchen table.

_My snack!_ Elsa pouted but kept quiet outside the door.

"You'll take it from here, Gerda?" Elsa's mother's voice was quiet and serious, and Elsa had to strain to hear it.

"Yes, your majesty," Gerda said.

"I still don't think—" The king paused midsentence and grunted. Elsa imagined her mother had just placed a soothing hand on the crook of his elbow. He cleared his throat. "You'll remember what we talked about," her father continued. "It's to be kept secret. You'll tell us if there are any—accidents. But no one else is to know. Especially not Princess Elsa."

"Of course," Gerda said.

"Good night, then, and Anna, welcome to the palace," the queen said gently.

_Anna._

"Excuse me, your majesties—" Gerda cleared her throat.

"Yes, Gerda?"

"It's—well, it's good of you to take her in. I just—I couldn't bear the thought of what might befall her, were she out there on her own. She's so young. If someone had—discovered her…"

_Discovered her? _Elsa's breath quickened, and she felt the familiar tendrils of icy anxiety begin to creep their way up from her stomach and into her chest. Guilt for intruding on this secret conversation filled her insides like a balloon. _You shouldn't be here. Get back to your room, stupid! Quick quick quick!_

Nearly paralyzed now with the fear that the walls would begin to freeze around her and someone would open the kitchen door to catch her snooping, Elsa turned and fled on her toes back down the hallway, holding her nightgown up as she ran, her feet leaving small patches of frost against the dusty stone floor where they landed. She held her breath until she was nearly bursting with it, afraid to let it out lest one of her parents hear and become angry with her. She was trying so hard to be good.


	2. Chapter 2

Elsa opened her eyes the next morning and immediately thought of the redheaded girl in the kitchen. She wondered if she would be lucky enough to see her around the castle. Would she be working there from now on? Kindling the fires, setting the table, helping Gerda in the kitchen?

But apart from meals, Elsa didn't venture much beyond her bedroom door, so it was doubtful. But maybe on one of her nighttime strolls? Maybe Elsa could even … go looking for her?

_No. You're not supposed to know about her. _

Elsa rolled onto her back and groaned, stretching her arms above her head.

_But why not?_

She brought her arms down and held her bare, pale hands in front of her face, turning them this way and that. _It's not fair. _She never got to have any fun._ If you could just control your stupid powers. _She was never allowed to talk to anyone, because she might accidentally reveal her secret. She realized she was frowning, and the tips of her fingers had begun to tingle. _Uh oh. Don't feel._ She dropped her hands beside herself on the bed, whimpered, and then turned over to curl into a ball. _Don't feel, don't feel. _She took another breath.

Of course, some of the staff knew. Gerda, of course, and the butler, Kai. But the king had sworn them to secrecy. Elsa knew it was for the best, because … _well, probably because they're embarrassed, or something._

_Anna. _

She wanted to befriend the girl. This was her chance to have a friend, a real friend! Another little girl in the castle! Maybe she would want to play dolls with her and go exploring on the castle grounds. They could whisper secrets and practice braiding each other's hair. _You'd probably end up freezing her head off. _Elsa screwed up her face, feeling the familiar pressure running from her chest into her arms. _Don't. Feel. Don't feel, don't feel—no no no no no!_

"Elsa?" The queen had quietly entered her daughter's bedroom, her head and one hand peeking around the heavy wooden door. "Are you ready for—oh, dear!"

"Mama!" Elsa cried, looking up at the sound of her mother's voice, and instantly the ice surrounding her on the bed crackled and spread further. "I'm sorry Mama, I didn't mean it! I tried to stop it!"

She sat up hurriedly, kicking her way out from underneath her now frozen-stiff bedsheets. Brilliant silver streaks of frost were winding their way up her bedposts, and a flurry of snow was lightly falling from the top of her four-poster.

"Promise you won't tell Papa!" Elsa pleased, standing next to her frozen bed, small and hunched over with her hands clasped in front of her face. She felt hot tears coating her eyelashes.

The queen took a step forward, her hand held out tentatively toward her daughter.

"Don't touch me!" Elsa cried, turning away. "I don't want to hurt you! Please, just go away!"

Her mother hesitated, looking stricken, her fingers over her mouth, and then turned and left her daughter's bedroom, closing the door behind her.

Elsa ran to her bed and grabbed Lissy-doll by her porcelain arm. She gasped as frost spread up the doll's face, glazing over her glassy green eyes. "I'm sorry, Lissy!" Elsa sank to the floor, cradling the doll in her arms, taking deep breaths to calm herself. _I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…_

The sound of fire bursting to life ahead of her brought Elsa to a halt in front of the kitchen door.

Three days passed before she had gathered enough courage to leave her bedroom again. Her parents had cancelled her tutoring lessons and left her alone to collect herself, but her mother knocked on her door each morning and evening, calling her name through the wood.

"Elsa? Is everything okay, dear?"

"Yes, Mama," Elsa would reply, keeping her voice steady and calm. She was terribly embarrassed that she'd let her mother see her lose control. _At least Papa didn't see – although Mama probably told him right away. _She paced around and around the perimeter of her bedroom, counting her steps. _Ten, eleven, twelve… _At twelve she would begin counting all over again. She figured one of these days she'd start to wear a rut right in the stone floor, an empty moat encircling her safe place, made of dozens of perfect steps.

At the end of her third day of total isolation, Elsa sat cross-legged on her window seat with a book in her lap. She'd just finished it—a story of a beautiful princess with incredibly long hair, who had been captured by an evil witch. The princess lived alone in a tall tower, until one day a handsome young man came to rescue her. _Why couldn't I have magic hair instead?_

Turning around to kneel in front of her window, Elsa stared out across the dark grounds. Nobody would ever appear at her window to rescue her. _Not unless they can figure out how to turn me normal. _

She thought of the shadowy figures she'd seen darting up the stone path the night before. Where was Anna now?

Sighing gently, she slipped off the bench. Holding the fairytale book tightly to her chest, she slid her feet into her blue dyed-wool slippers, took a deep breath, and quietly exited her room.

* * *

It was nice to be out and about, even if it was only outside of her room. The castle was dark and silent, save for the drafty sounds of wind howling against the windows. Elsa liked the sound—there was something thrilling and dramatic about the wind. She slipped quietly along next to the wall, counting her steps inside her head. Padding quietly down two flights of stairs, she found herself at the end of the corridor leading to the kitchen.

_Whoosh!_

The small window in the swinging kitchen door glowed suddenly with light, faintly illuminating the hallway ahead of Elsa.

She took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. Gerda must be up. _I'll ask her to make me some tea. _She could imagine nothing better than sitting across from Gerda at the kitchen table with a steaming cup of tea between her cold hands. Forgetting to count steps, Elsa walked down the hallway and pushed open the kitchen door. "Gerda?" she whispered.

But Gerda was nowhere to be seen. Instead, in front of the fireplace, the redheaded girl sat on a low wooden stool. She was very small—probably two or three years younger than Elsa—and she looked even smaller the large, empty kitchen. She was wearing a simple flannel nightgown, her hair pulled back in two messy pigtails.

As Elsa let the door fall closed behind her, the girl turned around to stare at Elsa.

Elsa froze, her heart skipping a beat in her chest, and stared back at the girl. _It's her! _The girl had rosy, freckled cheeks and big teal eyes, and her mouth hung unabashedly open in surprise.

"I … I—" Elsa stammered nervously. _It's so hot in here. Say something! No, run!_

The girl smiled delightedly. "Are you the _Princess_?" she asked, her voice full of wonder. "Princess_ Elsa?" _She jumped up from the stool. She held a sticky, half-eaten red pear in her right hand.

"Um," Elsa said, backing away.

"_Oh, _I've been dying to see you! I mean, _meet _you, but first I had to _see _you to meet you, because, well, you know." The girl giggled. "I've always wanted to meet a _princess_! Oh, I almost forgot!" The girl dropped suddenly into a clumsy curtsy, wobbling a bit on her tiny feet. "My parents told me if I ever meet the princess I have to curtsy."

"You don't have to— I mean— hi, thanks?" Elsa stammered. _Ugh._

Straightening up, Anna giggled and bounced a little on her feet. Elsa smiled cautiously in spite of herself.

"Um, what are you doing here? I mean, sorry—" Elsa screwed up her face. _Rude. That was rude._

"Oh, just looking at the fire. It's so pretty! Do you want to sit with me? Shouldn't you be upstairs dreaming princess dreams or something?" Anna smiled sweetly at her.

"I—couldn't sleep." Elsa shrugged and took a tentative step towards Anna. "I'm not really supposed to be out of bed. I mean, my parents don't know. But sometimes Gerda leaves a midnight snack on the kitchen table for me."

"Uh oh," Anna said, her eyes darting to the pear in her hand, which she slipped quickly behind her back. Her cheeks blushed bright red. "I'm sorry! Wait! I'll go get you another one!" She scurried toward the pantry, making Elsa's heart ache.

"No, it's okay, it's okay!" Elsa said hurriedly, gripping her book tightly. "I'm not very hungry anyway." She didn't want the little girl to have to do anything for her.

"Oh, okay," Anna said happily, stopping in the middle of the kitchen. "I'm always hungry," she blurted out. "My parents used to tell me I have a hollow leg. I guess they thought I stored food there." She stood awkwardly, rocking back and forth on her feet, half a smile on her face. She twirled one red pigtail between her fingers.

Elsa giggled. "Your name's Anna, right?" she asked, and waited for Anna to nod excitedly. "Um, hey, do you maybe want to go to the library with me?" she asked Anna, before immediately second-guessing herself. _Why would she want to go to the library with you? _"Or, actually—maybe I just should go. Yeah. I'm sorry. I should really—"

"No, no!" Anna said. "I mean, yes! I'd love to go to the library with you, Princess Elsa."

"Really? Oh, you can just call me Elsa," Elsa said nervously, waving a hand to dismiss the formality.

Anna grinned. "I might get lost in the castle. It's like a maze! This place is _huuuuuge!_" She threw her hands up and spun dizzily on her heels.

Elsa giggled again. She couldn't remember the last time she'd giggled. _Are we friends? _She felt a lightness spreading in her chest. Did Anna actually like her?

Then a heavy weight settled in her stomach, chasing away the happy feeling. _Wait, what are you doing? You can't be alone with her! You'll hurt her! She'll find out!_

"Ready?" Anna said, walking toward Elsa, one of her little hands held out.

Elsa jumped back. "Don't!" she cried.

Anna drew her arm back quickly. She looked puzzled and hurt. "Don't what?"

_You hurt her feelings!_

Elsa's breath began to quicken. She felt the tingling begin to spread over her shoulders and into her arms. _Get out!_ She felt overwhelmed by the sudden onslaught of emotions. _Get out! Quick!_

Elsa spun around and made for the door, but just as she reached it, it swung open. Gerda was standing in the doorway in her tartan nightgown, a small white cap on her head. She jumped as Elsa gave out a small screech of surprise before clapping her hands over her mouth.

"Princess Elsa!" Gerda said breathlessly, her hand over her heart. "I thought I heard your voice." Then she caught sight of Anna over Elsa's head. "Anna!" Gerda stepped quickly between the two girls. She looked Elsa up and down, noticing her fear. "Elsa, you mustn't be here. If you're hungry I'll bring a snack up to your room, but please, go back to bed, and quickly, sweetheart." Her voice was urgent.

Without a word, Elsa pushed the kitchen door open with her palm and fled, once again, into the dark hallway, away from Gerda, with Anna standing confused in the warm kitchen behind her.


	3. Chapter 3

More than an entire lonely year passed before Elsa chanced upon Anna once more.

For weeks after running into her in the kitchen, Elsa, ever obedient, had kept to her room after dark. Her parents had not wanted her to know about Anna. Figuring that it must be for her own good – or for Anna's – she avoided the kitchen at all costs. (She wasn't really supposed to be down there anyway.) When she finally felt safe enough to leave her room after dark again, she shortened her midnight strolls, heading to the library to grab a new book and then making her way straight back to her bedroom.

She didn't forget about Anna, though. Even though she never saw the girl around the castle – not even tagging along with the other members of the staff – Elsa knew Anna must be there, hidden away somewhere. At least, she hoped with all her might that she was there. And she hoped Anna didn't hate her for disappearing.

* * *

A week before Elsa's fifteenth birthday, several of the castle's maids and a valet came down with fever. They were sequestered in the infirmary, a large, darkened room filled with hospital cots in the south wing of the castle. Gerda was one of them.

That morning, Elsa woke up feeling cold. She shivered under her quilts and hugged Lissy-doll to her chest, curled into a fetal position.

The cold had never bothered her before. She shivered her way out of bed for breakfast, hands shaking as she pulled her hair into a loose braid.

"Elsa," the king said as soon as his daughter slid into her seat at the large breakfast table that morning. He set down his knife and fork, wiped his mouth on his embroidered cloth napkin, and looked over at his shivering daughter. "Are you feeling well?"

Elsa looked at her father over her teacup, which trembled slightly in her gloved hand. "I'm fine, P-papa," she said, taking a sip of the steaming black liquid.

The king and queen glanced at one another.

"Elsa, Gerda has taken ill. We're worried that you may have contracted the fever from her. You were with her during your lessons just yesterday, and she woke up ill this morning."

"Is—is she going to be okay?" Elsa asked nervously.

"She'll be fine, Elsa," Elsa's mother said reassuringly. "She's in the infirmary now. The fever has been going around Arendelle, but it doesn't seem to be deadly."

"When will she be better?" Elsa asked, hugging her arms to her stomach.

"Two to three weeks' time," the king said. "Elsa, are you sure you're feeling all right?"

"Well, I— I have been feeling kind of—chilly—since I woke up," Elsa said timidly. "But that doesn't mean I have the fever, does it?"

"Oh, dear," Elsa's mother said, standing up from her chair. "Elsa, you must get back to bed, honey. I'll send the doctor in. Come." She motioned for her daughter to stand up from her chair, and Elsa shakily joined her in walking out into the hallway. Her head felt heavy now, and she was colder than ever.

"S-so this is what it's l-like to be c-c-cold," Elsa's said to her mother with a small smile as they made their way toward her bedroom.

"Elsa," the queen said, crouching in front of her daughter. She wasn't smiling.

"Am I g-going to have to g-go to the inf-firmary?" Elsa asked, her arms clamped tightly around her middle.

The queen sighed worriedly. Her beautiful face looked tired and sad. "I'm afraid the doctor will insist that you join the others there. It's for the best—to keep others from getting ill."

"Why can't I just stay in my bedroom?" Elsa asked timidly.

"You mustn't come in contact with your belongings," the queen explained. "The sheets of the hospital beds will be destroyed once you recover, to prevent the spreading of illness."

"But what about—"

"You'll have to be extremely careful, Elsa. No powers. No losing control."

Elsa looked at her mother, shivering now from a mixture of cold and nerves. "But what if I can't?"

"You must," the queen said.

"But—"

"You must," she repeated firmly.

* * *

The next few days were a blur for Elsa.

In between bouts of fitful sleep, she caught glimpses of a short, portly nurse moving about the room, dressed in a white tunic and hat. She swam in front of Elsa's blurry eyes, pressing cool, damp cloths to Elsa's forehead, arms and legs. The cold of the cloth was painful against Elsa's fevered skin. Her entire body ached, deep in her bones, and her joints hurt every time she shifted to curl in on herself.

She was vaguely aware that there were heavy maroon curtains drawn around her bed, concealing her from the rest of the room's inhabitants, whom she heard moaning occasionally, or even whispering hoarsely. The room was hushed and dim.

She awoke a few days later and recalled a fever dream she'd had the night before. She dreamt that she'd woken in the darkest hours of the morning to a commotion in the infirmary. Whispers and shuffling steps filtered through the curtains around her bed.

"Here's an empty bed. I'll get some cold cloths," she heard someone say.

Elsa heard the blankets being drawn back on a bed near hers, and then footsteps as someone walked away.

"I've woken the doctor," someone else said.

More rustling of bedclothes, and then a tiny whimper. The steps returned.

There was a small moan. "Cold!" said a little girl's voice. "It hurts!"

"I know, sweetie, I know…"

Whispered words of comfort faded in and out…

Was it a dream?

Elsa struggled to sit up on her elbows and turn over onto her side. It felt as though there were a gong inside her head, which rung with pain every time she moved. With a heavy arm, she pushed her fluffy down pillow back so that it was propped up against the headboard of her bed. Sighing, she settled back again, feeling more awake but winded.

A few minutes later, the curtain on her left was drawn back, and the nurse entered Elsa's little nook, a glass of water in one hand. "Oh! Princess, you're awake!" she said. "How are you feeling, dear? My name is Helga."

"Better," Elsa said, smiling shyly.

"You're looking more like your lovely self," Helga said kindly. "You know, I haven't seen you since you were a very little girl. I suppose that's a good thing, not having to see the nurse. Means you're healthy." She smiled gently and reached the back of her hand toward Elsa's forehead to feel her temperature.

Elsa drew back into her pillow, the blanket drawn up to her chin.

"It's okay, dear, I just want to see if your fever's broken," the nurse assured her, her forehead wrinkling with concern.

"No need," Elsa stammered quickly. "I can tell it has."

"I'm sorry Princess, but if you don't mind, I just need to—"

A sudden cry stalled Helga's hand on its journey toward Elsa's clammy forehead. Both the nurse and Elsa turned to look in the direction of the sound.

"One moment, please, Princess," the nurse said. Setting the glass of water on the little table beside Elsa's bed, the nurse drew back the curtain once again.

Craning her neck to see what was going on in the big room beyond the curtains, Elsa caught a glimpse of red hair just before the curtain fell into place behind Helga's back.

_Anna?_

Elsa's heart pounded in her chest. She realized she was out of breath again, and she lowered herself slowly back onto the pillow, taking deep breaths, listening to Helga comfort the little girl in the bed next to hers. Could it really be Anna? Elsa didn't dare hope.

She heard the girl fuss a little bit before quieting down, probably slipping back to sleep.

_Is she ill? Is she okay? What if she sees me?_

"Who was that?" Elsa asked casually when Helga returned to her bedside a moment later, sitting on the edge of Elsa's bed.

"Oh, just one of the little kitchen maids. Nothing to worry about. The fever hit her hard, but she'll be okay, poor dear," Helga said. "Now, lie back and relax, and let me feel your forehead."

Elsa held her breath, eyes squeezed close, as the back of Helga's soft hand pressed against her forehead.

"Cool," Helga said, standing up again. "You're a bit of an anomaly, dear—all the symptoms of a fever, but you've been cool to the touch. You'll have to stay in bed until you've regained your strength, though. I'll go fetch you a nice warm bowl of broth, how's that sound?"

Elsa exhaled in relief and glanced at the sheets around her. No ice. Not even frost. Her parents would be proud.

* * *

Elsa couldn't sleep that night.

Anna was lying in the bed next to hers. She was right there, barely a meter away! Elsa knew it was her. There were no other children in the castle … as far as she knew.

Elsa held her breath and listened as hard as she could. The room was filled with the snuffles and snores of the other patients, but Elsa imagined she could hear Anna's breath, soft and even, among the rest.

"Anna," she breathed, so quietly that only she herself could hear it.

Suddenly Anna began to moan. Elsa heard her kicking her legs around gently.

Elsa bit her lip, hesitating. Then she slowly pushed back the covers on her bed and swung her legs over the side. She sat there, catching her breath, letting her bare feet dangle over the cold floor, as the pounding in her head subsided.

"Anna?" she whispered, nervously wringing a rope of blond hair between her hands. Her hair was greasy and needed a wash. Wondering how long she'd been ill, she pushed her braid over her shoulder and slipped off the bed.

Tiptoeing over to the curtain around her bed, she pulled it back and peered out. The room was large and very dark, with about a dozen beds lined up along the walls, six or seven of which were occupied. The walls were draped in dark, heavy curtains, not unlike the ones surrounding Elsa's bed. There was no nurse to be seen.

Elsa's attention returned to the bed in front of her as Anna moaned again in her sleep, turning her head to the right and left.

Elsa slipped past the curtain and stepped quietly over to Anna's bed. She peered down at the girl. As her eyes adjusted to the dark, she saw the features of Anna's pale face, her eyebrows drawn up in the middle, her mouth open slightly as she slept. Her bangs were damp and plastered to her forehead. She was shivering.

Elsa exhaled worriedly. She held a hand up, wanting to touch Anna's face, to comfort her, but she didn't have her gloves. Where were her gloves?

Elsa's left hand hovered gently near Anna's forehead. She could feel the heat of Anna's skin without even touching her. She was burning up.

_What if I…?_

Slowly, and ever so carefully, Elsa lowered her cool hand onto Anna's warm forehead. She stood there, muscles tense, hand still. And then she moved it upward, smoothing Anna's bangs up and off her face.

Anna sighed in her sleep, the muscles in her face softening slightly.

Elsa bit her lip nervously, and then she placed both hands on the sides of Anna's face, rubbing her thumbs gently beneath Anna's closed eyes. Her skin was so warm and soft. It'd been so long since Elsa had touched anyone else. Anna's freckled skin felt nothing like the hard, smooth porcelain of Lissy-doll's face.

Anna's breathing slowly evened out, her chest rising and falling in slow waves beneath the white sheets.

Elsa knew she ought not to touch Anna. _What if you lose control of your powers?_ She removed her hands regretfully and peered at Anna's pale face for a moment. With a gentle tug, she pulled the sheet up further and tucked it in under Anna's chin.

Anna sighed and turned her face toward Elsa. Elsa half-hoped that Anna would open her eyes, but she didn't.

One side of Elsa's lips twitched up in a smile. She gazed at Anna for a moment more, and then glided quietly back to her bed.

As the curtain swished into place behind her, Anna opened her eyes.

* * *

**A/N: Hi everyone! Irish here. Just wanted to thank you all for your comments and follows. You're all lovely! I love reading what you have to say.**

**Thanks again for reading, guys! Cheers! **


	4. Chapter 4

The next day, Nurse Helga deemed Elsa healthy enough to take a stroll to the castle library, accompanied by Gerda, who was also feeling much better. Elsa was ecstatic; as far as she was concerned, it'd been far too long since she'd held a book in her hands.

The princess was dressed and ready when Gerda drew back the curtain beside Elsa's bed. "Ready, Elsa?" she whispered, smiling.

Elsa nodded happily, sliding out of her bed. "How are you feeling, Gerda?" she asked. Gerda looked a bit pale and tired, but she seemed well enough.

"Just glad to come out the other side in one piece, dear." Gerda held the curtain aside for Elsa.

As they passed the foot of the next bed, Elsa turned her head discreetly to look at Anna. She was sleeping soundly, curled up on her side.

"More importantly," Gerda said, once they were outside the infirmary, "how are you feeling?"

"I feel well," Elsa said. "No more drums banging around in my head."

Gerda chuckled. "Isn't that the truth."

In comparison to the stuffy infirmary, the wide castle corridors seemed airy and bright. Morning light streamed through the tall windows, illuminating white specks of dust floating in the air. Elsa took a deep breath and smiled contentedly.

"It's so nice to be out of the infirmary," she said. "I can't wait to be back in my own bedroom."

Gerda glanced at Elsa. "I'm sure you'll be back in your room in no time."

"How long was I ill?" Elsa asked.

"Let's see … I believe the nurse said it's been nine days now."

"That's all?" _Felt like a month._

Elsa and Gerda made their way slowly to the library. Although the aches and pains of the fever had all but disappeared, Elsa's body still felt slow and tired, and she felt smaller than usual. Gerda must have been feeling the same way, as her usual crisp step had been replaced with a weary gait. So they took their time, especially on the stairs.

In the library, Elsa stood for a moment and stared, glad to be back amongst so many books. Unlike most of the rooms in the castle, which were cavernous and mostly empty, the library was cozy with shelves, writing desks, comfy armchairs, and books upon books. Elsa loved it. It was her favorite place—aside from her own bedroom—in the castle. She loved that, beneath its cramped and slightly untidy exterior, it was actually highly organized. She knew where all of her favorite books were, and all of her favorite genres.

As she gazed around the room, her eyes settled on the Forbidden Shelf. Her father kept a small collection of books up high, far beyond Elsa's reach. Elsa had often stood beneath them, wondering what secret knowledge they held. She didn't dare touch them.

She made her way to the wall on the opposite side of the room, where her mother kept her old books. This was her favorite section. Elsa had already made her way through most of her mother's shelves, having devoured the adventure stories and faerie tales of her mother's youth countless times when she was younger. She had begun moving on to the romances, which her mother had strictly forbidden her from reading until she was at least eighteen. Elsa figured that at fifteen—it occurred to her at that moment that her birthday had come and gone as she'd been lying in the infirmary—she was close enough. _Gerda always says I'm mature for my age. _

Elsa loved that the romance novels were bound in such passionate colors: deep maroon, salacious cherry red, palest rose. She stood nervously in front of them, eyes scanning the titles stamped in gold on their spines. But before she had chosen a book, Gerda emerged from the bookshelves behind her, humming absentmindedly, a book in one hand.

With a blush, Elsa quickly stepped away from the romances and turned her attention to her old faerie tales instead. Grabbing a worn, dark green volume from the shelf at random, she turned back to Gerda, the book clutched to her chest.

"Shall we head back, dear?" Gerda asked.

Elsa nodded shyly.

As they made their way back through the castle, Gerda asked Elsa which book she had chosen this time.

"Um," Elsa said, glancing down at the cover. She'd been so anxious about getting caught browsing the romances that she'd forgotten to look at the title. The front of the book was covered in shiny gold leaves. "The _Prose Edda."_

"Ahhh," Gerda said. "You always did favor the goddesses in that one."

Elsa felt herself blush again, but she wasn't sure why.

* * *

Gerda and Elsa parted ways at the door of the infirmary.

"You go lie down and rest now, honey," Gerda said, smiling kindly down at Elsa. "You've got to get your strength back."

"Aren't you going to rest, too?" Elsa asked, pausing with her hand on the doorknob.

"Oh, I've done enough resting up. I'm heading back to the kitchen to make sure they haven't set anything on fire down there." Gerda's eyes twinkled, and she winked at Elsa before turning away.

Elsa watched her go with half a smile, and then she quietly entered the infirmary. It was early morning, and most of the patients were still gently snoring in their beds. Elsa padded quietly across the room, her slippers shuffling softly against the stone floor. As she neared Anna's bed, she looked over and saw that the girl was awake.

Elsa started, not expecting to see teal eyes staring back at her. She froze at the foot of Anna's bed, and her mouth opened, but she didn't know what to say.

Anna smiled at her.

"Hi, Elsa," she whispered. Her fingers peeked out from under the sheets to give a tiny wave.

Elsa just smiled shyly, dropping her gaze to the floor. She played with her braid with one hand, once again aware of how badly it needed washed. Embarrassed, she flicked it quickly back over her shoulder. _Gross. Gross gross gross. You're gross._

Anna didn't seem to notice, though. She just continued to stare at Elsa, a tiny smile on her lips.

"What are you reading?" Anna whispered, raising an eyebrow at the book clutched to Elsa's chest.

Elsa's eyes darted to the book in her hands. "Oh," she said. "Umm, I—well, it's—h-here."

Flustered, she walked around the side of Anna's bed, holding the book straight out in front of her.

With an effort, Anna pushed herself into a seated position, scooting up so that her back against the pillows. She glanced at Elsa before taking the proffered book in her hands. "_Prose Edda,_" she read, tracing the gold leaves on the cover with her index finger. "It's heavy! Is it one of your favorites?"

Elsa nodded. "It used to be my mother's," she said quietly.

"The queen's?" Anna whispered. "Really?" She gazed down at the book with amazement. "What's it about?"

"It's mythology," Elsa shrugged. "You know, gods and goddesses and stuff." She watched Anna's eyes flick back and forth between hers and the book in her lap. "They get into some pretty crazy antics."

Anna stifled a giggle, and then put a hand to her head. She groaned. "Head hurts," she said, looking up at Elsa with a grimace.

Elsa bit her lip sympathetically. "The nurse told me you were really sick. You don't _look_ that bad, though. I mean—you know."

"I feel a lot better after last night," Anna whispered, looking curiously at Elsa.

Elsa blushed and looked away. _Was she awake? Stupid! Why did you touch her? _

_Wait. It helped?_

"Really?" Elsa said hesitantly.

Anna nodded. "Your hands are like magic," she said, grinning.

Elsa's stomach dropped. "So, uh, you can borrow that book if you want," she said, backing toward her own bed. "Just—don't tell anyone I gave it to you, okay?"

Anna nodded seriously, slipping the book under the sheet next to her, where it made a hard, rectangular lump under the covers.

"Secret's safe with me," she whispered, patting the book gently.

Elsa smiled and grasped a maroon curtain in one hand.

"Wait! Elsa," Anna whispered, leaning toward Elsa.

"Yeah?"

"How will I get it back to you?"

Elsa's first thought was for Anna to give the book to Gerda, but then she realized that she wasn't even supposed to be speaking to Anna in the first place (_for some reason_), so telling Gerda was out. She glanced around to make sure no one was eavesdropping.

"Can you meet me in the library?" she mouthed, barely daring even to whisper.

"If I can find it," Anna whispered back. "When?"

Elsa glanced around once more. She heard footsteps approaching the door. "How about a week from now? At midnight?"

A grin spread across Anna's freckled face. "Got it," she said, settling back onto her pillows once again.

Elsa slipped safely into bed, smiling, just as Nurse Helga opened the door.

* * *

As soon as Elsa was fully recovered, her parents shuffled her right back into her daily routine of academics in the morning, followed by an afternoon of music lessons.

Her academic lessons were prepared by a hired tutor, but Elsa did much of the learning on her own. Each Monday morning, at seven o'clock sharp, Gerda knocked on the door of her bedroom, a stack of parchment and books in her arms: that week's lesson plans. Elsa would sit quietly at her desk all morning, teaching herself about history, geography, French and the like.

After lunch, Elsa took music lessons—violin and voice. Although she didn't talk much, she sang beautifully. It was much easier to let words flow out of her mouth when they were in French or German and carried on a melody.

Her music lessons were one-on-one with the queen, who had a strong voice herself. Elsa knew she was lucky that she had a mother who could teach her—it was best not to unnecessarily endanger outside tutors by exposing them to her powers. _I might accidentally blast them with an ice bolt every time I hit a high note._

Sometimes Elsa wondered why it was necessary for her to learn anything at all. She could scarcely imagine that one day she'd have the ability to attend meetings and ceremonies as queen. She could scarcely imagine herself as queen at all.

* * *

The day before Elsa was to meet Anna in the library, her mother and father surprised her with an announcement at lunch.

"Elsa, dear, you're fifteen years old now," the king began.

Elsa wasn't sure what she was expected to say to that, so she remained silent, watching her parents.

Her father heaved a sigh and glanced at his wife.

"You're getting to be a young woman, Elsa," the queen began hesitantly, "and your father and I think it's best that you begin … well, socializing with others your age."

_Like Anna?! _Elsa's heart leapt.

"Young _men _your age, Elsa," the king said resignedly, as though he'd read Elsa's mind.

Elsa's heart dropped into her stomach, and her face grew warm.

"Y-you want me to socialize with young m-men?" she stammered, embarrassed.

"You're nearing the age of courtship, dear," the queen said. "And seeing as you've had such limited contact with others, we're worried that you may find it difficult to find a suitable, well, _match_." The queen whispered the last word.

"But I'm only fifteen," Elsa said, her voice small.

"We're certainly not suggesting you go out and get married, dear," Elsa's father said, his voice softening. "We'd just like for you to meet some people. Get to know your potential suitors. Let them get to know you."

Elsa just sat there. _Get to know … _me?

"King Henri of the Southern Isles will be arriving in Arendelle for a diplomatic meeting this Sunday," the king said. "He'll be bringing along his youngest son, Prince Hans, so that you two may make one another's acquaintance."

_Whoa, wait. This weekend?!_

Elsa's heart rate sped up. She felt the cloth napkin, which she'd been clutching tightly, begin to stiffen with frost. She took a deep, shaky breath, and stared down at her lap.

"Elsa? Are you all right?"

Elsa hated appearing weak in front of her father. _Conceal, don't feel. Conceal, don't feel!_

"Yes," she breathed.

"You two will simply be going for a stroll around the castle grounds. Just pleasantries. Nothing to worry about," her father said, standing. "Please be ready by eleven o'clock on Sunday." He left the dining room.

Elsa closed her eyes tightly and counted to twelve in her head. She'd never participated in exchanging _pleasantries _in her life. She could feel her father's disappointment and disgust. _One, two, three, four—_

"Elsa."

Elsa looked up at her mother, who was leaning concernedly over the table towards her. "Yes, Mama?"

"You're going to be fine," her mother said, but Elsa didn't think she sounded so certain. "Hans is very nice, and quiet, from what I hear. He's only a year younger than you."

Elsa bit her lip and stared at her mother as frost began spreading across the table in front of her. "Mama…" she whimpered, tears filling her eyes. _I can't do this. I can't._

The queen's eyebrows were knitted in worry. "Baby girl," she said, reaching a hand across the table. She paused halfway to her daughter, and then drew her hand back to cover her mouth. Her eyes shone.

"Mama," Elsa said again, pleading. A saucer on the table in front of her, coated in frost, cracked in half. _Don't make me._

Her mother stood, hand held tightly over her mouth. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then she clasped her hands stiffly in front of herself. "It's something you must do," she whispered, unable to look at her daughter. She turned abruptly and walked out of the room.

* * *

**Don't worry, guys, the Elsanna is coming. They'll be seeing a lot more of each other from here on out.**

**Thank you all for your follows and comments, you lovely grasshoppers, you. I hope you're enjoying reading this as much as I'm enjoying writing it.**


	5. Chapter 5

At ten minutes to midnight, Elsa slipped silently into the library, candle in hand. She left the big wooden door cracked behind her so that Anna would know that she was there. Standing in the candle's guttering orb, she scanned the room, looking for a good place to wait.

Outside, the sky was a bruise of murky black. It was storming. Elsa loved thunderstorms. She felt at home in them. They were powerful in a way that made her feel as though her own powers were minor, controllable; the gale raging inside of her was dwarfed by the rumbles of thunder and jagged slices of lightning.

She slid to the floor against the end of a bookshelf, in front of a tall, stained-glass window. She set her candle down carefully beside her. The lightning illuminated jewels of color in the window. She hugged her knees into her chest, fingers gripping the slippery satin of her nightgown as sheets of rain lashed against the panes of glass.

_What if Anna gets lost? What if she forgets to come?_

Elsa didn't acknowledge the thing she feared most: that Anna would decide she didn't _want_ to see her. That Anna wasn't coming at all, that Elsa had arrived early like a hopeful fool, waiting for a friend who would never arrive—a friend who perhaps was not a friend at all.

She sighed, tapping her toes impatiently. Her stomach roiled with a mixture of anticipation and nerves. She leaned her head back against the oak bookshelf and closed her eyes.

* * *

A few minutes later, she was startled to feel something tapping gently against her toes. With a sharp gasp, she opened her eyes to see Anna standing directly in front of her, gently nudging her slippered foot up against Elsa's. Anna's silhouette came into sharp relief as a streak of lightning cut the sky outside the window behind her. She was holding the _Prose Edda _in her arms.

Anna giggled at Elsa's shock, and then jumped as a roll of thunder followed close behind the lightning.

"It's storming!" she whispered loudly, dropping to her knees beside Elsa.

Elsa sat up straighter, scooting a little to the right so as not to touch Anna.

"Are you scared of storms?" Anna asked Elsa, her eyes bright.

Elsa shook her head, staring at Anna, and then found her voice. "No. I-I kind of like them, actually."

"Me, too," Anna said, shifting awkwardly to sit cross-legged beside Elsa. "I especially like when the lightning makes it look like daytime in the middle of the night."

Elsa smiled and nodded, pushing a lock of blond hair behind her ear. Another streak of lightning lit up the window, and the colors of the stained glass blossomed on Anna's freckled face.

"Oh, I brought your book," Anna whispered. "It's _really_ good. I haven't finished it yet, though. It's pretty long and I only really have time to read before bed. Here! I'll show you where I'm at."

She opened the book somewhere near the middle and flipped a few pages. "Ummmmm. Right here," she said, pointing.

Elsa leaned over to peer down at the page. She skimmed a few lines. "You're at the good part!" she exclaimed.

"I know!" Anna groaned, clutching her pigtails in desperation. "I wish I could read faster. It's killing me!"

Elsa giggled. _So cute. _She had a sudden idea. "Want me to read to you?" she asked Anna.

"Really?" Anna bounced a little bit with excitement.

"Sure," Elsa said. _Better than reading to Lissy-doll. _She picked up the candle and held it near the book. Its flame danced merrily across the yellowed pages.

"Ooh, it's so cozy!" Anna sighed happily, flopping onto her belly beside Elsa. She yanked her nightgown out from where it was twisted beneath her thighs, and then settled down with her chin propped on her palms. "The Princess of Arendelle is reading me a bedtime story. _Amazing_."

"It's way past bedtime, silly," Elsa said.

Anna giggled. "That's even better. It's a past-bedtime story." She paused as a peal of thunder filled the room. "Ooh, it's a _thunder_story! Get it? Like thunderstorm?"

Elsa laughed. "I get it."

Anna was so close that Elsa could feel the heat of Anna's body next to her hip and along her thigh. She wasn't used to being this close to anyone. It made her nervous, but she resisted the urge to move away. "So did you find your way up here okay?"

Anna sighed dramatically, brushing the tip of one braid around her lips. "_Wellll_, I took a few wrong turns, I think, and at one point I was sure I'd found it but it turned out I'd actually just found one of the second-floor bathrooms. A really nice bathroom, but, whoops!" Anna crossed her eyes playfully and flipped her braid over her shoulder, and Elsa couldn't help but laugh again. "But I made it."

"I'm glad," Elsa said shyly, and Anna beamed at her.

Elsa read to Anna for nearly an hour. After a little while, she even got into character, her voice deepening to fit certain characters, lilting or growing louder to suit the action. Anna gasped and _ooh_ed in all the right places and laughed readily at Elsa's different voices, which only encouraged Elsa even further. Soon Anna was laughing so hard that Elsa was finding it hard to read properly.

"Stop laughing! You're making _me_ laugh and I can't read!" she choked out as Anna rolled onto her back in a fit of giggles. _Don't stop, though._

"B-but your _voice, _it's just so f-_funny_," Anna laughed. "You sound just like a man."

"Hey!" Elsa said indignantly.

"A very handsome man!" Anna reassured her. "With a _very_ nice mustache." She bit back a laugh.

"_Thank_ you," Elsa said, with dignity, folding her arms and looking down at Anna with a straight face.

Anna stared back for a few seconds, her mouth twitching. Then she snorted. This started the two of them laughing all over again.

When they'd finally settled down, and Elsa had marked her place in the book with the thin yellow ribbon attached to the spine, they were lying on their stomachs, chins propped on hands, looking at one another. Anna's eyes were so bright and friendly as they roved over Elsa's face.

"Can I ask you something?" Anna said.

Elsa immediately felt a shiver of nerves race along her spine. "Um, okay. Sure."

"Well—and you don't have to answer if you don't want to—but how come you never came back down to the kitchen after that one time?" Anna looked nervously at Elsa.

Elsa hesitated, pulling her braid over her shoulder to knead it in her hands. She thought briefly of telling Anna the truth, but she knew that would be dangerous. _You make a friend and you can't even wait a day before blabbing your secrets?_

"I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked, that was stupid of me," Anna said, waving away her question. "You don't have to—"

"N-no, it's okay," Elsa said. "You're not – you're not stupid." She paused. "I guess, well—" She thought of Gerda hustling her out the kitchen door and back to her bedroom, the fear on Gerda's face when she realized that Elsa had been talking to Anna. _You're not supposed to talk to her. _Elsa felt a pang of guilt for going against what she knew were her parents wishes. But that was so long ago. Maybe the rules had changed? She sighed, at a loss for words.

"Is it because I'm just a … a kitchen maid?" Anna asked.

"No!" Elsa said, dismayed that Anna would think that. "No, that's not it at all. I just…" She dropped her face into her hands and cast around for something—anything—to say. _Say something. Say something!_ She felt the beginning tingles of ice forming in her chest. _Oh god, keep it together. Don't-feel-don't-feel-don't-_

"Elsa?"

Elsa looked up. Anna pushed herself up so that she was sitting on her knees. She leaned down to look into Elsa's eyes and reached out to place her hand on Elsa's shoulder.

Elsa jerked away, rolling onto her side to avoid Anna's comforting hand. "Don't!" she gasped. Immediately she remembered that day in the kitchen, the way she'd pulled away from Anna's touch then.

Anna looked shocked.

Elsa immediately felt terrible. "Anna, I'm sorry, I—"

"No, i-it's okay," Anna said. She stood up, brushing invisible dust off the front of her flannel nightgown, and sighed. "I'd better get back to bed," she said, shrugging.

"Anna, no—" Elsa scrambled to her feet. "I'm sorry. Please—"

"No worries," Anna said, smiling unconvincingly at Elsa.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid. _Elsa lagged behind Anna, her arms wrapped around her middle, as she and Anna made their way back to the hall.

"I guess I'll see you around?" Anna asked as Elsa closed the door quietly behind them. She looked concernedly at Elsa, a hundred questions dancing behind her eyes, but the princess didn't look up.

Elsa nodded, her insides heavy with shame.

"'Bye, Elsa," Anna said, giving a tiny wave of her fingers.

Elsa watched as Anna made her way down the dim hallway, her footsteps soundless on the stone floor. When would she see her again? _Would _she see her again? _Wait wait wait! _

"Wait!" She hurried after Anna, not even bothering to keep close to the wall. "Anna!" She was only whispering, but Anna spun around.

"Elsa? What is it?" she asked, looking concerned. She hurried to meet Elsa in the middle of the hallway.

Before she could think about it, Elsa's hand darted out to grasp Anna's. Anna's fingers were warm and soft in hers. Elsa blushed as Anna tighten her grip immediately, fitting her palm flush against Elsa's.

"I'll come visit you," Elsa said breathlessly. "I promise. And the stairs are that way." She pointed in the opposite direction.

Anna's freckled face broke into a grin.

* * *

Elsa woke up on Sunday dreading her visit with the young prince of the Southern Isles. _Hans? Was that his name? _She hopped out of bed, feeling wide-awake with anxiety. She began pacing her room, counting her steps.

What was she supposed to talk about with a boy? She didn't think she'd ever talked to a boy in her life! The only boys she knew were the ones in her stories.

She knew how other girls felt about boys. Her mother's forbidden romances revealed all the secrets of courtship—and beyond. Elsa read them late at night, guiltily turning page after page of the risqué stories. They made her heart pound. She couldn't imagine ever feeling that way about a boy. _But you've never even been around one._

What did boys like to talk about? What did _princes _like to talk about?

_Probably weird things like battles or—or frogs or something. Do they like books? Doubtful. Horses? Maybe._

"Ugghhhh." Elsa groaned aloud. Pausing in her pacing next to her large writing desk, she placed her palms on it and leaned there, thinking. She thought she might be sick. Her stomach felt funny. _Maybe I'm too ill to meet Hans._

_I wish Anna were here._

* * *

By half past one that afternoon, Elsa was impeccably dressed in a crisp violet dress and jacket with black and white trim, her braid twisted neatly into an elegant knot at the nape of her neck, snug white gloves on her hands. The perfectly tailored dress showed off the soft curves of her body-she felt as though she'd come into them overnight. She stood in front of her open wardrobe, staring at herself in the ornate, full-length mirror that hung on the inside of the door.

In formal attire like this, Elsa could almost imagine herself being queen one day.

She took a deep breath and rolled her shoulders, trying to shake some of the tension free from her muscles. _You can do this. Just don't feel. Don't feel._

"Elsa?" The queen's head appeared around the edge of the bedroom door.

"Mama," Elsa said. "How do I look?"

Her mother stepped into the room, closing the door behind her. She walked over to Elsa's bed and perched herself on the edge. "You look beautiful, Elsa. As always." She smiled, the corners of her eyes crinkling, watching her daughter from across the room.

_I'm scared._ Elsa didn't dare say it aloud.

"Sweetheart," the queen said. "Come here."

Closing her wardrobe door, Elsa walked over to sit on the bed, leaving about a meter between herself and her mother.

"You're going to be fine today."

Elsa inhaled deeply. "What if something happens? What if I can't-control it?"

The queen shook her head. "They won't. You _can_ control them. You've been doing so well, Elsa. You've had hardly a mishap in the past six months. You know what your father says: conceal—"

"Don't feel," Elsa joined her in reciting the familiar mantra.

The queen nodded. "It's going to be just fine. And Elsa," she whispered, scooting a few inches closer and leaning toward her daughter. "Don't worry too much about Hans. He's not the one for you, anyway." She winked. "Just relax and … try to enjoy his company. It's not often you get to be with others your age."

_More like never. _Elsa held her breath and nodded. "Okay. I'll try."

* * *

Prince Hans looked uncomfortable in his handsome dress suit, complete with tassels and stiff jacket. He didn't seem able to stop moving around: he kept tugging at his collar, tilting his head this way and that. He paused for a moment to stare at Elsa as she descended the grand staircase into the entrance hall with her mother, his eyes widening a little bit.

Elsa surveyed him carefully. Hans was a little bit shorter than she was, with ruddy cheeks and auburn hair that was a little too long around the ears. He looked up at her and gave a sort of grimace as he twitched again. He was standing between Elsa's father and a man who looked old enough to be Hans's grandfather, who was dressed in what appeared to be a perfectly pressed military uniform decorated with badges and tassels.

"Allow me to introduce my daughter, Princess Elsa," the king said as Elsa and her mother joined the men near the front door.

"Princess, it is indeed a pleasure," King Henri said kindly, holding a hand out to Elsa.

Elsa hesitated. Should she risk putting her gloved hand in King Henri's? Her heart was racing. Her eyes darted to her father's stoic face, but he gave no hint as to what her next move should be. Choosing to ignore King Henri's gesture, Elsa curtsied tremblingly.

King Henri mercifully accepted her curtsy and turned to his son. "Princess, I'd like to introduce my youngest son, Prince Hans."

Hans gave an awkward bow in Elsa's direction, and Elsa nodded her head at him.

"We thought you two might enjoy a stroll around the courtyard," Elsa's father said, gesturing toward the front doors.

Elsa nodded and felt her mother's fingertips at the small of her back, nudging her gently toward Hans. Her legs felt like they'd turned to wood. Her movements were jerky and stiff beneath her dress as she joined Hans in walking toward the front door. _Keep breathing. Keep breathing. Everything's fine._

Two white-gloved servants synchronously pulled open the large front doors, and Elsa and Hans stepped into the sunlight sans parents. Behind them, the doors remained open. _Probably so they can keep an eye on me._

"I hate these stupid clothes," Hans said, once they'd put a few feet of distance between themselves and the castle. He tugged again at his collar. "I never have to wear them at home."

Elsa exhaled in relief at the informality of Hans's words. "Really?" she asked, and then cleared her throat. "Um, why not?"

"Well, I'm the youngest. I don't have to bother," Hans explained. "I never meet anyone important or anything. Well, except you. My brothers can't believe I get to meet you before they do."

They walked along the edge of the courtyard, near the stone wall. It was a beautiful day; the sky was blue and filled with fluffy white clouds. Elsa felt strangely exposed, out in the open like she was, but she reveled in the feel of the sun on her pale face. At least the gates were closed.

"So I hear you caught fever a few weeks ago?" Hans said.

"Oh, uh, yeah," Elsa said.

"They make you stay in a room with the other sick people?" Hans's question _sounded_ casual, but Elsa wasn't so sure what he was getting at.

"What do you mean?" Elsa asked.

"I mean, did they make you mingle with the servants? The common people?" Hans sneered, looking at Elsa.

Elsa wasn't sure what he was getting at. She felt as though Hans was trying to imply something about her. It didn't feel friendly.

"Umm," she stammered. "They—they didn't want to let the illness—"

"Is that the first time you'd been with other people beside your parents?" Hans asked, and Elsa stopped walking.

"What? No," she said, frowning. "What are you trying to say?"

Hans just shrugged and continued walking. Feeling as though she had no other choice, Elsa followed him.

"My brothers say your parents don't let you see anyone," Hans said, glancing curiously at Elsa's face.

Elsa remained silent, her heart beating out a rapid tattoo in her chest. She glanced around, trying to think of something else to talk about. How would his brothers know whom she saw? She realized at that moment that her life might not be as private and protected as she had assumed it was. Her secrecy itself was, in fact, no secret.

"What's it like to be alone all day?" Hans asked.

"I'm not alone all day."

"But you don't have any friends."

"I have a friend," Elsa blurted out. "Her name's Anna." She knew she shouldn't have said anything, but she couldn't let Hans think that she was a total freak. _Stupid boy. What does he know? _She turned and walked away from Hans, making her way toward a stone bench.

"Anna? Who's Anna?" Hans asked. "Hey." He hurried after her, joining her on the bench, one knee drawn casually up to his chest. "Who's Anna?" he prodded.

Elsa scooted to the end of the bench. "No one."

"She has to be someone," Hans pointed out. "Come on; tell me."

"Sh-she works in the castle."

"Yeah? A servant girl? Oooh. What's she like?"

Elsa sighed. "I don't want to talk about her."

"Well, why not?" Hans asked, his question more curious now than mean.

Elsa sighed, annoyed. She had decided by this point that, if all boys were like Hans, then she would never feel the way the girls in her mother's romance novels felt about them. Clearly Hans had learned nothing of boundaries in whatever social interactions he'd had.

Elsa resumed walking around the courtyard.

"All right, all right. We don't have to talk about her," Hans said, following after her. "Sorry I asked."

"It's fine," Elsa said. "So what are your brothers like?"

"Jerks," Hans said, and Elsa looked at him, surprised at his frankness. "They treat me like I'm invisible!"

"That's not very nice," Elsa said. Despite Hans's annoying persistence, she felt a tiny bit of sympathy for him. Sometimes she felt like that, too.

"Right? They think it's funny to pretend like they can't see me. They'll try to sit on me and claim they thought the chair was empty."

Elsa giggled, covering her mouth with one gloved hand. "Sorry," she said, sobering up. "I don't mean to laugh at you."

"Ah, it's okay," Hans said, waving his hand. "Maybe I deserve it. I put blackberry juice in their tea before a ball a few weeks ago. They scared all their dance partners with their black teeth."

Elsa was shocked that he would do something so horrible—she couldn't imagine how much trouble she'd be in for a stunt like that—but she grinned in spite of herself. "Nice one."

"Thanks. That's what I thought."

Elsa took a breath.

_Okay. I can do this. I'm doing this._

* * *

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**Cheers!**


	6. Chapter 6

For three days now Elsa had been bursting to tell Anna about her time with Hans—she was dying to relay the tales of Hans's pranks and mischief to the redhead, if only to hear her laugh again—but she hadn't had a chance to get down to the kitchen. With visitors in the castle (King Henri and Hans had stayed for a few days), the kitchen was in full swing, cranking out fancy dinners and teas at all hours of the day for Arendelle's royal guests. And they hadn't made plans to meet again in the library.

Elsa hadn't spent much time thinking about Hans, though. He was all right, she guessed, but she'd been put off by his frankness and rude questions. She hoped her parents wouldn't make her spend any more time with him—but she feared they would. She was almost disappointed that she hadn't had any icy mishaps. Her parents, though, were incredibly relieved that she'd gotten through the day without letting any frost fly. Her secret was safe.

* * *

"Mama?" Elsa asked, gathering her sheets of music together after a voice lesson. "May I ask a favor?"

"Of course, dear. What's on your mind?" The queen relieved Elsa of the music sheets, placed them in the hidden compartment of the baby grand piano bench and then seated herself elegantly, looking at Elsa. Elsa liked these moments with her mother best—after her music lessons, the queen always seemed to be in an amiable mood.

"I-I was wondering if I might venture outside to collect some chamomile," Elsa said. "My throat has been sore ever since I took ill. I thought some tea might help."

"Why don't you ask Gerda to send a maid out?" the queen replied. "I'm sure she'd be more than happy to oblige you."

"If—if you don't mind, I'd rather go out myself," Elsa said, noticing the look of surprise on her mother's face. "It might be nice to get some fresh air..."

The queen seemed to be considering Elsa's proposition, although she looked reluctant to let the princess outside the castle doors. Perhaps she was afraid Elsa would run into Henri or Hans unsupervised.

"I'll just be in the back, in the gardens," Elsa said quickly. "I won't be out long. It's just—I enjoyed the feel of the sun when I was out with Prince Hans. I'd love to go out again."

"Well…" the queen hesitated. "Oh, I suppose it'll be all right. But let's keep it a secret between you and me. And by that I mean"—her voice dropped to a whisper—"don't tell your father."

Elsa's face broke into a huge grin. "Thank you, Mama!" she said, dropping into a quick but graceful curtsy, and the queen couldn't help but smile back at her daughter. "I won't be out long."

"Elsa," the queen said as Elsa turned to go. "Wear a jacket. Your fair skin will burn. And don't forget your gloves!"

* * *

Elsa's heart was skipping quickly in her chest as she pushed open the door of the castle's east entrance. She paused at the threshold, looking around. She took a deep breath and squinted as her eyes adjusted to the brightness of the late summer sun. The outdoors smelled so fresh—like grass and flowers and rich soil.

Elsa had been only half truthful with her mother. She _had _come outside to collect chamomile, but her throat was not sore. She just needed an excuse to visit the kitchen.

The princess headed toward the back of the castle, where the gardens were located. Being as it was surrounded by water, the castle's grounds were not very large, but the flowers and plants were bountiful. Elsa had visited the gardens only a handful of times before, accompanied by Gerda, who often picked medicinal herbs. She brewed powerful teas for all kinds of ailments, which she administered to her kitchen maids and various other members of the castle staff when they were ill.

Elsa walked down a gentle slope toward the garden, her feet brushing gently through the soft grass. She ducked slightly as she made her way beneath a wooden trellis thick with dangling ivy. The garden had grown into a sort of large enclosure, with big rosebushes marking its imperfect perimeter. Inside, Elsa followed a path of flat, gray-flecked stones down another slope. The garden was bursting with color—violet and yellow snapdragons, orange marigolds, cotton-candy pink geraniums—and humming with insect life.

Further along, Elsa came upon a tiny pond surrounded by large, smooth stones. Next to the pond was a stone bench beneath a wooden trellis. Ivy and flowers dangled from the top of the trellis, swaying in the breeze.

"Elsa?"

Elsa spun around but saw no one. Then she heard a giggle.

"Over here!"

In the middle of a patch of marigolds, Elsa saw a red-braided head peering up from the ground. It was Anna. She was lying on her back, propped up on her elbows amongst the flowers.

"Anna?" Elsa grinned. "What are you doing here?"

Anna sat up but kept her legs stretched out in front of her. Her simple brown dress and food-stained apron were pulled up to her knees, revealing freckled legs.

"I'm working. What's it look like?" Anna grinned. She plucked a marigold at the base of its stem and held it out toward Elsa.

"Oh, obviously," Elsa said, playing along.

Anna giggled again. "Okay, you caught me. I'm supposed to be picking some herbs for dinner, but I just _had _to take a moment and lie down in this patch of flowers. Have you ever done that? Just lie down in a bunch of flowers? It's magical! When you look up all you can see are flowers and the sky. It's like being a tiny little ant in a flower forest!" Anna wiggled the proffered marigold in her hand slightly, urging Elsa to take it.

Elsa giggled. "I can't say I've ever done that."

"Well, today is your lucky day, then!" Anna said. "Come 'ere."

Elsa walked over and blushingly took the marigold from Anna, her gloved fingers gently brushing the redhead's bare ones. After placing the flower gently on the bench beside the pond for safekeeping, she walked back to Anna and stood uncertainly in front of her.

"I just…walk on in?" she asked.

"Yep!"

"What if I step on the flowers?"

"You won't; you're too graceful."

Elsa blushed and gathered her long skirt in her hands. She tiptoed carefully through the flowers to Anna's side and then crouched, looking for a safe place to sit.

"Right here looks good," Anna said, holding back a few flowers so Elsa could sit down beside her. "Now lie back. There you go."

Elsa lowered herself carefully to the ground, settling her shoulders against the soft, grassy earth. Anna was right—all she could see were flowers, rising up beside her ears, reaching into the turquoise sky. Anna watched her for a moment, smiling gently, and then lay down beside her, sighing happily.

"You were right," Elsa said. "This _is _magical."

"Told ya," Anna said happily. "So what brings you out of the castle, Miss Elsa?"

"Well…I told my mother I was coming to pick chamomile for tea, but really I was just trying to think of an excuse to go to the kitchen to see you." Elsa blushed as soon as the words were out.

"Really?"

Elsa turned toward Anna and was startled to see Anna's freckled face so close to hers. Anna stared at Elsa, her teal eyes wide and bright.

"Umm, yeah," Elsa said shyly. They looked at each other for a moment. "Um, I wanted to tell you—I met a prince. Prince Hans."

"Wait, what? You met a _prince_?" Anna exclaimed. "Well, I guess that makes sense, seeing as you're a _princess, _but whoa! So what was he like? Was he nice? What'd you do? What'd you talk about?"

"Umm," Elsa said, trying to decide where to begin. Anna just watched her patiently. "He was… well, he was sort of an ass, actually."

"What? Was he mean to you?" Anna sat up, frowning.

"N-not exactly. I mean, he was annoying in a teenage-boy kind of way, I guess?" Elsa tried to explain. "Like, he kept staring at me, and asking me all these rude questions, but then he sort of backed off and turned nice?"

Anna nodded encouragingly, so Elsa proceeded to tell her all the details of her "date" with Prince Hans. (She left out the part where she told Hans about Anna being her friend.) Anna listened with rapt attention.

"Eww. Next. You're way too good for him," she said when Elsa had finished speaking. "Are your parents gonna like, make you marry him or something?"

Elsa felt herself blush again. "No. He's like, thirteenth in line for the throne, so I can't see it ever happening."

"Then why'd you have to meet him?" Anna flicked at a marigold stem.

Elsa hesitated, watching the golden bulb sway. "I don't know," she said.

"Huh." Anna looked over at Elsa.

Elsa looked away. "I-I should probably find that chamomile before my mother comes looking for me," she said.

"Oh. Right. Good idea," Anna said. She stood carefully and brushed a few leaves off the back of her dress. "Let's see. The chamomile is over next to the herbs. I'll show you."

She made as if to take Elsa's hand, and then stopped suddenly. Her hand went instead to her forehead, where she brushed a few fly-aways off her face. Elsa noticed. She wanted to take Anna's hand, but she was too afraid.

"This way!" Anna bounced across the garden, weaving around bushes and patches of flowers, until she reached a neat plot of ground about five feet square. Thin green shoots and tiny leaves curled up from the soil in neat rows. "There's your chamomile." She pointed at a row of white, daisy-like flowers near the back.

"Thanks," Elsa said, smiling gratefully at Anna. _She is so perfect._

The two girls picked a handful of greenery each and then headed back through the garden together. Elsa made sure to grab the marigold that Anna had picked for her off the bench where it sat.

"I hope this is the right stuff," Anna said doubtfully, staring at her fistful of greens. "Gerda will kill me if I ruin the main course. I'd actually never worked in a kitchen before I came here. It took a whole year for Gerda to trust me enough to work with the actual food. I think she thought I was too clumsy… might accidentally kill someone with a knife or something. Yeesh."

"Or accidentally poison them," Elsa offered, one corner of her mouth twitching up into a smile.

"Exactly," Anna agreed seriously, and then she bounced a little. "This was so nice! I'm so glad I got to see you. When can I see you again?"

"U-umm," Elsa said. She stopped walking right before they passed out of the garden. "Anna…" She hesitated, fiddling with the chamomile in her hands. "I… I don't think I'm supposed to be talking to you… at all."

Anna's face fell slowly. She looked at the ground and sighed. "I know," she said quietly.

_Huh? _"You—you do?"

Anna scuffed her toe against one of the pathway rocks and nodded. "Yeah. Gerda told me I'm not to speak to you, but she didn't say why."

Elsa was confused. "Wait, so then why did you ask me why I never came to visit you in the kitchen?"

Anna sighed and shrugged. She glanced up at Elsa. "I wanted to see how much you knew about me."

"What do you mean?" When Anna remained silent, Elsa asked again. "Anna? What do you mean, how much I knew about you?"

Anna bit her lip and fidgeted, looking incredibly uncomfortable. "I have a secret," she said, so quietly that Elsa almost didn't hear.

Elsa stepped closer, her heart pounding, feeling as though something big was about to happen, that everything was about to be explained. She and Anna were only inches apart. She realized she was holding her breath.

"Anna… what is it?" she asked quietly. "You… you can trust me." She stared at Anna's face, her flushed, rosy cheeks and lowered eyelids.

Anna sighed. "I know." She looked up. "I know I can. But I can't tell you," she said finally, averting her eyes. "I mean, I'm not supposed to tell you."

Elsa was in anguish. _She gets this close and then…nothing? _She didn't want Anna to get in trouble, but now that she'd brought it up… She sighed, frustrated. "Well…can you tell me _why _you can't tell me?"

Anna looked up, a thoughtful expression on her pretty face. "I'm not really sure," she said. "Gerda just said that your parents 'don't want us to know about each other.' She also said that—that we'd find out _why_ when we're old enough. I'm not sure how old is old _enough_. But until then… I'm to keep quiet."

_Keep quiet. Of course. Your entire life is about keeping quiet. Why shouldn't Anna have to keep quiet around you, too?_

Elsa felt a sudden flash of something in her gut. At first she was afraid it was her powers welling up, but then she realized: it was anger. She wasn't sure if she was angry at her parents, or at herself, but she felt _cheated. _Of what, she wasn't even sure.

* * *

The girls parted ways regretfully near the back door of the castle, Anna carrying Elsa's chamomile into the kitchen for her, promising Elsa that she would send another maid up to her room with a tray.

After the maid delivered the tea, Elsa poured herself a cup of the steaming liquid. Then she set the delicate teacup in the center of her bedroom floor and took a few steps back.

She stared at it, feeling anger like physical heat coursing through her veins. Before she could stop herself, she flung out her hand. A silver streak shot from the tips of her fingers and collided with the teacup. The yellow liquid immediately hardened into a frosty grey before the entire cup exploded, shards of porcelain and chunks of frozen tea flying outward.

Elsa staggered backwards, breathing hard, feeling powerful and frightened, and _good, _like she'd gotten something off her chest.

Then slowly she deflated, sinking to the cold stone floor like a rag doll. Her eyes filled with hot tears. What right did she have to be upset? She had a secret, too—a big one, a _dangerous_ one. And she hadn't told Anna. She couldn't; she might hurt her. Whatever Anna was hiding, it couldn't be as bad as what Elsa herself was keeping secret.

She thought of the feel of Anna's hand clasped tightly in hers. She had touched her, had felt her warm palm pressed against hers, and nothing bad had happened. It hadn't felt bad at all. It had felt good.

And in that moment she knew: it was only a matter of time before she spilled her secret.


	7. Chapter 7

Elsa and Anna continued to meet clandestinely over the next few months, usually in the library, although occasionally they explored other areas of the castle together.

On days when they couldn't meet, Elsa wrote Anna letters during the day, placed them within the pages of the _Prose Edda, _and left the book in the library so that Anna could pick it up when she had time. Elsa had finished reading the _Prose Edda _to Anna weeks ago, but it had remained "their" book. The margins of its pages were littered with notes they'd scrawled about the story itself and about their own daily lives, little messages passed back and forth between them. The marigold that Anna had gifted Elsa that day in the garden, now dry and crackly, was pressed flat in the middle.

* * *

"So have you given much thought to your future husband?" Hans had asked bluntly a few days ago, picking at his fingernails as he and Elsa sat together over tea in the drawing room.

"Hardly," Elsa said coolly. "How could I, when I haven't met him yet?"

Hans grunted, glancing up to scowl at Elsa.

Elsa had known her statement would sting. Hans was fifteen now, like her, and Elsa had noticed the way he looked at her, his eyes lingering a little too long on her face and trailing down over her body when he thought she wasn't looking. The first time it had happened, Elsa had felt so uncomfortable and self-conscious that she'd unintentionally frozen a handful of her skirt—she hadn't even realize she'd been gripping it until the material turned to ice under her fingers. Luckily, Hans hadn't noticed.

* * *

After that, she had begged her parents to relieve her from her interactions with him.

"I don't _like_ him; I don't want to see him anymore!" she'd exploded in the parlor after dinner one night, her voice sharp.

"Elsa! We will not discuss this in this manner," the queen said, looking harried and nervous. "You know how your father feels about you keeping up the appearance of normalcy."

"I don't _care!" _Elsa stood as sparks flew from her fingertips into the ground, leaving white tracks where they hit.

Her parents jumped to their feet.

"Elsa," her father scolded. "Stop it this instant. Control yourself. You are acting like a child!"

"Because you treat me like one!" Elsa cried, pacing back and forth angrily.

"Because you _are_ one!" the king shouted. "You are incapable of taking care of yourself! Look at yourself now!"

Elsa let out a sob, looking down at her feet as ice began to spread beneath them. "Can't you see how miserable I am, Papa? You don't let me out, you don't let me do _anything! _I don't know what it's _like_ to be normal! And then you expect me to thank you when you set me up with _Hans? _You expect me to just like the first person you throw at me?"

"We are trying to protect you! What do you think would have happened to you if we hadn't protected you? Hmm? If we hadn't hidden you away?" The king's voice had dropped to a low growl as he approached Elsa. "Do you know what would have happened?"

"Agdar!" the queen hissed at her husband. Elsa heard a warning in her voice, a note of desperation.

The king stopped a few feet in front of his daughter, nearly losing his balance on the ice.

"If you're so desperate to protect me, why do you make me see someone I don't like?" Elsa asked.

The king dropped his face into his hands, rubbing at his eyes. "Elsa," he said, his voice calmer now. "We need to know how easily you caninteract with outsiders. We need to know if you _can _control it. Do you understand? It is important that you learn how to hide it!"

"You've seen me interact with Gerda!"

"Gerda is not an outsider!"

Elsa cast around for something to throw back at her father. "Well, I've done it! You've seen me with Hans—no powers! No accidents! Now let me be! Or—or I'll do it! I'll let go when I'm with him, and then the secret will be out!"

"Elsa," the queen said gently. She and her husband were looking at Elsa knowingly. They knew it was an empty threat.

The thought of purposely revealing her powers in front of Hans scared her as much as she knew the idea scared her parents. She didn't want him to know—she was too ashamed. What would people say if they found out? They would think that she was _more_ than weird, that she was a freak. Or what if she accidentally hurt Hans? She didn't like him much, but she didn't want to harm him, either.

* * *

One winter morning, Elsa retrieved the book from its place on the library shelf and found a scrap of parchment sticking out the top of the book. She pulled it out and unfolded it right away, recognizing Anna's handwriting.

_Elsa— _

_Can we talk? Kitchen. Midnight._

_Love, A_

Elsa frowned, clutching the piece of paper in one hand. She held the book tightly to her chest, filled with worry. Admittedly, it was difficult to tell a person's mood from a hurriedly scrawled five-word note, but something about Anna's clipped message struck her as ominous—and Elsa was prone to anxiety.

She felt sick all day and could hardly concentrate on her lessons.

* * *

At a quarter to midnight, Elsa slipped her gloves over her hands and exited the relative warmth of her room. The castle was fairly chilly year round, but winters made it especially so. The corridors were drafty and downright cold, although Elsa wasn't bothered by it.

She did not knock on the door of the kitchen. Instead, she pushed it open gently and entered, immediately spotting Anna on the floor in front of the fireplace, a thick, wool blanket draped over her shoulders. She didn't turn around as Elsa entered.

"Anna?" Elsa approached and sat cross-legged next to the redhead. She noticed that Anna was staring into her lap, where she held a large mug of tea between her hands. "Are you all right?"

The fire crackled. Anna didn't reply.

Tentatively, Elsa placed a gloved hand gently on Anna's back. She began to rub slow circles, the material of her glove catching against the wool blanket.

Anna seemed to come to. She looked up at Elsa, her eyes registering her presence. "Elsa," she said sadly. "Here, you can share my blanket if you'd like. It's so cold tonight." She held out a corner of the blanket, inviting Elsa to join her underneath it.

Elsa didn't really want or need a blanket, but she didn't want to pass up the chance to sit so close to Anna. She scooted closer, pulling the warm blanket around herself. "Thanks." She was so close that her shoulder was touching Anna's. Anna was very warm beneath the material of her nightgown. "Anna, did—did something happen?"

"I got bad news today," Anna said without looking at Elsa. Her voice was flat. "It's my mother. She—she died."

_Her mother._

"Oh, _Anna_," Elsa said. "I'm… I'm so sorry." She wasn't sure what to do, how to comfort her. _Put your arm around her. No—don't touch her. Say something. _

"I-it's okay," Anna said, before Elsa could decide what to do next. "I mean, I haven't seen her in almost four years, so…"

"That doesn't necessarily make it easier," Elsa offered.

Anna shook her head, staring down again. "No," she said, her voice thick with unshed tears. "But I don't know why I'm so sad."

"She was your mother, Anna…"

"She abandoned me," Anna blurted, her voice breaking.

"What? When?" Elsa's heart was pounding in her chest. She was surprised to feel her eyes prickling with tears.

Anna sniffled and took a deep, quavering breath. "About four years ago. She left me at—at a _brothel. _The women there—they weren't so bad. They kind of took me under their wing." Anna wiped her nose on her hand. "I loved them, but it was dangerous there. No place for a little girl."

Elsa was shocked. Anna had been living in a brothel? Her cheerful, gentle Anna?

"How long were you there?" she asked gently.

"A couple years. Then I came here." Anna sniffled and leaned her head against Elsa's shoulder.

Elsa tensed. Anna's hot, ragged breath ghosted over her neck and collarbone. Elsa took stock of her own body: quick heartbeat, an unfamiliar, warm feeling low in her belly, but no icy tendrils creeping up her chest. She was safe.

Slowly and carefully, she reached her arm around Anna, hugging her close to her side, and rested her cheek against the top of Anna's head.

Is this why her parents didn't want her to know about Anna? Because Anna came from a brothel?

"How did you end up here?" Elsa asked, without lifting her head.

Anna sniffled. "Gerda found me in the market one day, while I was running an errand for the woman who ran the brothel. She asked me where my parents were, and I told her where I was living… She followed me back there, asked some questions. Then she came to get me that night."

Elsa couldn't imagine proper Gerda in a brothel, but she loved her fiercely for bringing Anna to her.

"How'd you find out that—that your mom—?"

"My friend Kristoff told me."

_Kristoff? _"Who's Kristoff?"

"He's this delivery guy. He brings fish in the winter, ice in the summer. He's nice. You'd like him. I'll introduce you sometime."

"And he knew your mom?"

"No, but he knew about my family, and he would ask around and let me know what he found out every so often. You know, check up on them for me. He knows a lot of people in Arendelle."

After a minute or two, Anna sat up, wiped her eyes on the collar of her nightgown, and took a sip of her tea.

"Want some?" she held the steaming mug out to Elsa.

Elsa shook her head.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cry all over you," Anna said weakly.

"You don't have to apologize," Elsa said, wiping her own eyes. "It's okay to cry. I cry all the time."

"You do?" Anna asked, looking up at her. Her eyes were shiny, eyelashes wet with tears, and Elsa's heart surged with a desire to protect her.

Elsa nodded gently.

"What makes you sad?" Anna asked gently, turning so that she was facing Elsa.

To give herself some time, Elsa pulled the blanket off her own shoulder and draped it fully around Anna, tucking it carefully over her shoulders, smoothing it down.

"A lot of things," she said, finally.

"Will you tell me one?"

Elsa sighed. "I used to feel really alone. I still do, in some ways."

Anna's forehead wrinkled with concern.

"You know, all alone in this big castle. No one to talk to, really. I always wished I had a sister. I never even had any friends until—until I met you." Elsa shrugged.

The corner of Anna's mouth turned up. "Me neither," she said. "But I had siblings: two little sisters and a little brother."

"You did?" Elsa asked. "Where are they now?"

"Now that my mom's gone, I don't know," Anna sighed. "They were living with her."

"But why…" _Why would she abandon only one child?_

The redhead had begun fidgeting with her braids. Elsa watched as she unknotted the end of one and unraveled it nervously, running her fingers through shiny red strands. Elsa waited. Anna chewed on her lower lip, separated her hair into three sections, and re-braided it, leaving it loose and untied on the bottom.

Finally, Anna dropped her hands into her lap and sighed. "Can I show you something?" she whispered.

Elsa nodded, holding her breath.

Anna looked her directly in the eyes. "Elsa. Promise me you won't tell anyone that I showed you."

Elsa bit her lip and nodded again. "I promise."

"Okay." Anna took a deep breath, and then she held an open hand out toward the fireplace.

There was a roar as the fire in the hearth gathered itself up into a glowing ball of flame before streaking toward Anna, where it collided with her palm and disappeared, seemingly absorbed into her skin. In the fireplace, only cold, charred logs remained—not a trace of smoke or glowing embers.

Elsa gasped and scrambled backward, away from Anna, scraping her knees on the stone floor. Her mouth opened and closed, trying to form words.

"Elsa—" Anna looked at her pleadingly. "Please, it's not dangerous. I won't hurt you!"

Elsa shook her head violently. "How—you—" She covered her face with her hands, shaking her head. She could not believe what she'd just seen. She must be dreaming. This was a dream. _Wake up, Elsa!_

"How did you—"

"I've been like this for as long as I can remember," Anna said. "My mother told me she couldn't keep me because she was afraid for my siblings. I never understood it, though—she knew I'd never hurt them."

"Do my parents know about this?" Elsa gasped.

Anna nodded meekly. "And most of the staff, too."

There it was. The reason they'd been keeping Anna a secret.

Elsa stood up shakily and began pacing around the now dark kitchen, wringing her braid between her hands. _Ohh-kay. Okay. Okay. _Her parents had known about Anna all along and they'd kept her from her. Elsa couldn't believe it. Why would they do that to her? Make her think she was the only one, when there'd been another just like her in the castle for the past two years?

"_Ouch!" _In the dark, Elsa stubbed her toe on the corner of the chopping block in the center of the kitchen and stumbled forward.

"Elsa?"

Behind her, Elsa heard Anna snap her fingers. A flame burst into life, cradled in Anna's palm. She approached Elsa carefully, holding her light out.

"How do you do that?" Elsa asked, transfixed by the flame. She forgot about her throbbing toe.

"I don't know how to explain it. It's like this rushing feeling inside of me, and then it just—"

"No—not the flame. I mean, how do you…_control_ it? How do you make it do what you want it to do?"

Anna frowned. "I don't know. It's like anything. Like… touch your nose. Go on."

Elsa touched her nose with her index finger, confused.

"It's like that," Anna said. "I decide to do it, and then I just… _do_ it."

"Anna." Elsa felt drained and overwhelmed. "I can't believe this," she muttered to herself. "I just can't believe it." Out of nowhere, she began to cry. She felt relieved and angry and frightened, all at the same time. She sank onto her knees, her face in her hands, and sobbed.

"Elsa!" Anna hurried to Elsa's side, extinguishing the flame in her hand. "Oh, Elsa, don't cry. Please don't cry." She sat down beside Elsa, putting an arm around Elsa's hunched back.

"Anna," Elsa choked out between sobs. "I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I th-thought that—that I was the o-only one," she sobbed. She took a shaky breath and swallowed, trying to calm herself. She wiped her eyes, but could not wipe the anguished expression from her face. "Anna," she said. "_Look_ at me!"

Elsa held her arms out, gesturing toward the floor. Anna followed her gaze and gasped.

A thin sheet of cracked ice was creeping across the floor beneath the two of them. Frost had climbed up the side of the chopping block like icing on a cake.

"_No way," _Anna breathed, her eyes as round as saucers. "Elsa, that's _amazing!_ You have ice powers?"

"It's not _amazing_. I can't control them! That's why my parents keep me locked up, because I'm dangerous!" Elsa stood up angrily and began pacing again. "Don't you see? When I get upset, _this _happens!" A bolt of ice shot from the tips of her fingers and burst against the wall. "I'm a danger to you! I could _kill_ you!_"_

"Elsa," Anna said gently, walking toward her. "You're not dangerous."

"_Anna!_ Of course I am! I never know when it's going to happen!" Elsa had begun to cry again, desperately wanting Anna to understand.

Anna just shook her head and stood calmly in front of Elsa. "Well, I'm not afraid of you," she said firmly.

Elsa's shoulders slumped. She was breathing hard. "You should be," she whispered, her voice ragged.

"Nah," Anna said, shrugging. "I don't think so."

Elsa was exhausted. She didn't know what else to say, so she just put her face in her hands and wept.

All of a sudden she felt Anna's warm arms around her. She stood there stiffly as Anna pulled her close and placed a hand on the back of Elsa's head. Finally, Elsa gave in and wrapped her arms around Anna, holding her tightly, sobbing into her neck, standing securely in the first embrace she could remember ever receiving.


	8. Chapter 8

Elsa lay wide-awake in bed the next night, thinking about Anna and her pyrokinetic abilities, seeing that flame burst to life in Anna's palm over and over again in her mind's eye.

_Why can Anna control hers? Why can't I?_

The envy was like a claw squeezing her insides. Anna didn't have to live in fear of her powers taking her by surprise at the wrong moment, in front of the wrong person. Anna didn't have to worry about hurting anyone, or worse, _killing _them.

Elsa pushed her bed sheets off and stood up. She lit the candle next to her bed and began pacing the room, twirling a strand of silver-blond hair nervously around an index finger. In the middle of the room, she stopped and held a hand out, palm up. Her stomach swooped with anxiety.

_Tap tap._

Elsa quickly clutched her hands to her chest and turned to look at her bedroom door. Had someone just knocked? She held her breath.

_Tap tap tap._

"_Psst_. Elsa? Are you awake?"

Elsa rushed to the door, padding lightly over the stone floor with bare feet. She carefully cracked the door and peered out. "Anna?" she breathed.

"Hi." Anna stood in the dark hallway, smiling nervously at Elsa.

"What are you doing here? Quick—get in."

Elsa held the door open, and Anna slipped silently inside. She stood awkwardly in front of Elsa.

"I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't be here, I just—"

"What if somebody saw you?" Elsa whispered, wringing her hands.

Anna bit her lip and began to fiddle with one of her braids. "I know, I'm sorry. I was just … I just wanted to see you. But you're right, I'll just go back—"

"No no no, wait." Elsa closed her eyes and sighed, dropping her hands to her sides. She looked up at Anna. "I'm sorry. I'm actually really happy to see you. I just get nervous—I'm not supposed to have anyone in my room."

"What, like boys?" Anna whispered, a small smile on her lips.

"Like anyone," Elsa said seriously. "Well, except my mother. It's kind of my safe space."

"Is this where you practice your ice powers?" Anna asked.

"What? No! What do you mean, practice?"

"You know, hone your skills?"

"They're not skills," Elsa mumbled, turning away to walk to her big picture window. She sat down on the window seat and drew her knees up to her chest, staring out into the darkness.

Anna came up behind her quietly and placed a tentative hand on Elsa's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Elsa. I didn't mean to upset you."

Elsa shook her head. "You didn't," she said.

Anna hesitated, tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear. "Mind if I sit down?"

Elsa looked at Anna's hopeful, freckled face and some of her anxiety melted away. _She's so … cute. _She smiled and shifted so that she was sitting cross-legged, gesturing towards the bench next to her.

Anna climbed up happily, sitting in front of Elsa. "This is an amazing view," she said. "View's not so great from my bedroom. Not that I don't like or appreciate my room! I do," she said quickly. "I love living in the castle."

Elsa had only been to the servants' quarters a couple times, with Gerda. "Is your bedroom adequate?" she asked Anna. "Is your bed soft? Do you have enough room?"

Anna giggled. "Yes, silly. Stop worrying. It's nicer than the room I shared with my siblings growing up. And nicer than my one at—at the brothel."

Elsa swallowed. Visions of Anna sleeping on dirty mattresses in dingy rooms flashed through her head. She had only vague ideas of what really went on in brothels. "What … what was it like there?"

"It was … loud. And dirty," Anna said, and Elsa made a face. Anna continued, "I lived in the attic, which was nice because it was tucked away, you know? I had my own bed and my own space. I didn't have to see filthy old men tromping past my room at all hours." She shuddered.

"Were you afraid?"

Anna shrugged one shoulder adorably. "Sort of. But the women there made sure the men stayed away from me. They wouldn't let anyone hurt me. They were nice."

"Did they know about … your powers?" Elsa whispered.

"Most of them did, yeah," Anna's head bobbed. "My m-mom didn't want me to tell anyone about them, but the woman who ran the brothel said she that she wouldn't take me in unless she knew why Mom was trying to—to give me away."

Anna stared down at the bench cushion, tracing an embroidered pattern with her finger. Then she looked up, and her face cleared. "The women there _loved_ my powers. They'd never seen anyone with powers before. When there were no men around, they would ask me to light fires in the fireplace and warm up their bed sheets for them at night. I didn't mind. I liked making them happy. Plus, it was fun to show off. They reminded me of my little siblings—so in awe." Anna grinned.

"Do you miss them?" Elsa asked gently. "Your siblings?"

Anna nodded and resumed tracing the pattern. "Yeah," she whispered. "I hope they're okay. I hope my dad's looking out for them. He's a good dad, but he works a lot to support us, so he's hardly ever at home."

_Her life is so different from mine. _Elsa studied Anna's worried face and suddenly felt extremely sheltered and fortunate. It was a strange feeling. She'd grown up in a castle, wealthy and protected, but somehow she'd never felt fortunate before. Tremblingly, she held out a hand.

Anna put her hand in Elsa's and held on. Elsa felt her heart pounding at the feel of Anna's warm fingers in hers.

"You're very beautiful," Anna said, all of a sudden.

Elsa felt heat rush to her face. She let go of Anna's hand and looked down, brushing her hair shyly behind her ear.

"What, no one's ever told you that before?" Anna asked doubtfully.

_That's not it._

Elsa began to stammer out a response, but then she stopped. She didn't know what to say. _Tell her she's beautiful, stupid!_

"S-so are you," she said hurriedly.

Anna grinned. "Aww, shucks," she said.

Elsa pulled her braid over her shoulder, smoothing it in her hands. _Now what?_

"Elsa?"

Elsa looked up.

"Have you ever … _tried_ to control your powers?" Anna asked.

"Wh-what do you mean? Of course, I mean, whenever they come I try to stop them…"

"But have you ever tried to, you know, summon them?"

Elsa paused, thinking of the cup of tea she'd blasted into icy pieces not that long ago.

"Sort of…" she began slowly. "It's more like … when I'm angry, I just—let them go. You know? I stop holding them back."

"So they only come when you're angry?"

"Or scared, or nervous, or sad…"

A tiny frown creased Anna's brow. She looked at Elsa almost sympathetically. "What about when you're happy? Or, say you're just relaxing in your bedroom, reading a book. Could you do it then?"

_Why does she want to know all of this?_

"Probably not. I don't know. I've never tried. Why would I want to?"

"Pffft." Anna rolled her head back. "Because it's cool! Your powers are beautiful! All those snowflakes…"

Elsa frowned and stood up. "It's not beautiful. It's destructive. I _destroy _things with it."

"Yeah but, Elsa… don't you see? You could _create _with your powers, too. You could—"

"_No._"Elsa spun around, throwing a hand out. A flurry of ice shot from her fingertips and collided with the wall a couple feet from Anna.

Anna flinched.

Elsa gasped and pulled her hands into her chest. "Anna! I'm so sorry; are you okay? Did I hit you?"

Anna stood up carefully. "Nope," she said. "Missed." She looked at Elsa, her face scrunched in thought.

"Maybe you should go," Elsa said. She could feel the tingles still surging in her hands, and she gripped them tighter against her chest, underneath her chin, frightened. "I-I'm sorry, Anna."

"Okay," Anna said. She took a couple steps toward Elsa. "But first"—another step—"let me see your hands. Please?"

Elsa looked stricken. "My hands?" She shook her head uncertainly.

Anna nodded encouragingly, her hands held out toward Elsa, palms up. "Don't be scared," she whispered. "You won't hurt me."

Elsa's heart felt like it had moved into her throat. It beat wildly as she slowly uncurled her arms and extended her palms toward Anna's, letting them hover, trembling, above hers.

Anna slowly, softly lifted her hands to meet Elsa's. She curled her fingers gently around them and rubbed the soft, white backs with her thumbs. She smiled.

"See? It's okay."

Slowly, Elsa felt the tingles in her hands receding, but a warm, swooping feeling filled her belly. Her heart continued to race as Anna rubbed circles on the backs of her hands.

"H-How did you do that?" she whispered.

"I didn't. You did," Anna said.

"But—"

"You just have to relax. Trust your body," Anna said.

Elsa took a deep, slow breath and felt the last traces of her power disappear from her hands. "Thank you," she whispered.

Anna just smiled at her.

* * *

A few weeks later, Hans and Elsa were walking around the castle grounds together. Spring had finally sprung in Arendelle. Hans had a tender young flower in his hands, which he was picking apart petal by petal, tossing the pieces onto the ground as they walked.

"So what does the princess of Arendelle do for fun in the springtime?" Hans asked. "Besides sit around by herself?"

Elsa glared at him. Hans had been acting particularly sour ever since Elsa's remark about her hypothetical future husband a few months ago. She thought he was being extremely immature about the whole thing, and she was furious at her parents for forcing her to continue to see him when there was no real reason to do so.

She remained silent.

Hans nudged her with an elbow, and Elsa frowned and jerked away.

"Aww, come on, give me _something_. What have you been up to lately?" Hans asked.

"The usual. Studying…"

"Studying. What else? Everyone studies. Tell me something exciting."

"I don't have to tell you anything," Elsa said, sitting down at the nearest bench. _He is obnoxious. _

"Tell me about the other guys in your life," Hans said. He sat down beside her.

Elsa looked at him in surprise.

"Oh come on, don't tell me your parents haven't been setting you up with all kinds of potential suitors." Hans threw the now petal-less flower stem over his shoulder. "So what are they like?"

"They haven't been," Elsa said.

"Princes everywhere are dying to get a chance at the mysterious Princess Elsa," Hans said, shooting a glance up and down her body.

"They are?" Elsa asked, curious in spite of herself.

"Well, yeah," Hans said. "I mean, who can blame them?" He snaked a hand onto Elsa's thigh, over her dress, and squeezed.

Elsa jumped up and kept walking.

"What's the matter?" Hans asked, following. "Too frigid to enjoy a friendly touch?"

Elsa hugged herself tightly. _Don't feel. Don't feel. _But she _could_ feel. She felt her powers surging up within her, mixing with the anxiety and fear. _Breathe. Just breathe. Think of Anna. _Anna's smiling face floated into her mind's eye. Anna's hands on hers. Anna's gentle voice. _You're okay, you're okay. It's okay._

"Leave me alone," she said, jerking away as Hans caught up to her and grabbed her upper arm. She kept her hands clenched tightly in front of her.

"Come on," he said, slipping an arm around her waist, pulling her tight against his chest. "What's the matter?" His right hand slowly crept up her stomach towards her chest.

"Get off!" Elsa shrieked, shoving him hard with an elbow.

"_Hey_!"

Hans let go of Elsa and spun around, looking for the source of the voice. He smirked when he saw a thin, redheaded kitchen girl in a simple dress and dirty apron marching up the grass towards them.

"Who are _you_?" he scoffed.

"That's Anna," Elsa said quickly, stepping in front of Hans. "My friend."

"Ohhhh, right," Hans said. "_Anna_. Yes, I think I remember you mentioning her. Your servant friend."

"What's going on here?" Anna asked, stopping next to Elsa and placing a hand gently against her back. She frowned at Hans.

"I don't really think it's any of your business," Hans said.

"It is if you're bothering the princess," Anna replied stubbornly.

"What is she, your bodyguard?" Hans asked Elsa, then looked at Anna. "What were you, spying on us?"

"I was sent out to the garden to check on the vegetables, if you must know," Anna said indignantly. She looked at Elsa and lowered her voice. "Are you okay, Elsa?"

Elsa nodded. "I'm okay. We were just … talking."

Anna rubbed her hand in slow circles on Elsa's back, comforting her. Elsa took a few deep breaths and felt her powers receding.

"Are you that prince?" Anna asked Hans gracelessly.

"Yes, I am," Hans said, standing up tall and straightening his jacket. "Prince Hans of the Southern Isles, if you must know. And you have no right to speak to me like you have been, girl."

Anna scowled at him. "Why don't we head back to the castle?" she said to Elsa.

Elsa nodded in agreement. "Yes, I think we've seen enough of each other for today," she said, glaring at Hans. She and Anna turned back toward the castle.

"You can't get rid of me that easily, Princess!" Hans called after her. "I'm the only suitor you've got!"

"Just ignore him, Elsa," Anna said. "He's a royal jerk."

Elsa managed a weak smile. "I don't know what would've happened if you hadn't arrived. I… I could feel m-my powers. I almost couldn't hold them back any longer."

"We're going to work on that," Anna said, smiling grimly up at Elsa. "Don't worry."


End file.
